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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. However, he is skeptical he would have taken the label without having independently formed that understanding on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people hide it, due to so much stigma around the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for talking therapy through national services (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number